Anyway, I’m finally getting to the point of this particular horror file. Again all these events and creatures popped up during the location scout phase of pre-production for our zombie film Schoolgirl Apocalypse we were making in Japan.
As we combed the shorelines of Chiba, north of Tokyo, in search of a “creepy beach” suitable for a zombie film, we also found an army of multi-appendaged monstrosities.
You’re probably going to ask yourself, “Why in the hell is this guy so obsessed with insects?”, “Why doesn’t he stop wasting my time and just go ahead and make another insect horror flop?” Perhaps the answer is that I’m too terrified of them or maybe I just can’t afford the CG but who knows what the future holds.
In any case the bug of the day is called “funamushi” in Japanese. I think they should call it “FUNAMUSHI!!!” in all caps with some extra exclamation points because that is how you feel when you actually witness them in action.
There is something incredibly visceral about seeing these creepy crawlies, especially since they seem to move as a flock like birds do. Thousands upon thousands, they lurch forward across the sea-side stones then stop, then go, then stop, then go… all in unison! Doesn’t matter which way they turn, they all seem in on it. It is like they share a hive mind tuned in to whatever makes human beings recoil in the most disgusted horror.
Why they would have evolved this way makes no sense since no creature in their right mind would ever think they looked tasty. This is why in English we’ve had to struggle to find the appropriate name to encapsulate their true monstrosity. Some call them “Sea Slaters” or “Sea Lice” but the best description in my opinion is “Rock Roaches”.
But the thing with roaches is that no matter how disgusting they might be, no matter how much our brain stem is programmed to hate them, the common roach is more of a lone hunter type. You only have to see one or at most two in action at a time. (If you’re seeing more than that then I think you’d better fumigate or just move house somewhere else.) The common house-hold roach, no matter how large or gross they might mutate, isn’t into team sports such as synchronized swimming. The dreadful funamushi on the other hand looks like a miniature version of a nazi rally run at ultra-high speed, goose stepping with their multiple legs over every surface you’d ever imagine possible.
If you want to distance yourself from their utter disgustingness by means of science then you can think of them as a kind of terrestrial isopod with the innocuous name of Ligia Exotica like the guy in this site does (It is vile! He actually picks them up with his bare hands!). Or you could anthropomorphize it and add breasts like the guy on this site does. Hey, whatever it takes.